Sponge Battel (SB). SB #62881-3. Sponge vs. Megatherium.

First competitor: Sponge

Height: 3'

Weight: 12 pounds.

Second competitor: Giant Sloth

Height: 20'

Weight: 16,000 pounds.

Sometimes the coin-flips just don't fall your way. Our champ the sea sponge had a tough day out there against the giant ground sloth. The fight promoters really sold us this idea that the Battel should be held on dry ground. So before it even got underway, the sponge was dry, brittle, and possibly already deceased. In the first round, the giant sloth didn't take much interest in the Sponge, just wandering around the ring, nibbling -- as herbivores do  -- on grasses and shrubs. 

In the corner after the first round, we were cautiously optimistic that we could get out of there with a draw. But then came the flies. A giant swarm of biting flies descended on the arid ring, roused by the crowds, or the noise, or the smell of a massive, sweating giant sloth. And they gave the sloth an itch. And the sloth scratched that itch. For the entire second round. On the sponge. All eight tons of it, rolling on its armored back, over and over again, with dust and Sponge Bits flying up in the air. To and fro. Hither and yon. We threw in the towel, but it was too late. The Once Mighty Sponge had been pulverized to a fine dust by our ... new Sponge Battel (SB) champion, the Megatherium.

Winner: Sloth. 2nd round. TKO.