Sponge Battel (SB). SB #5481. Sponge vs. Coral.

First competitor: Sponge

Height: 3'

Weight: 12 pounds.

Second competitor: Coral

Height: 2' 6"

Weight: 58 pounds.

On paper, these foes seem pretty evenly-matched. Similar environments, similar heights, a similar lack of known sentience. For the first 300,000 rounds, we saw a lot of feeling out. A lot of sizing up. Some swaying on the part of the Sponge. Some very slow growth on the part of the scratchy, pokey Coral. But then we started to see Sponge's spongey plan unfold when the fearsome battelsponge arranged for the level of nutrients and, particularly, the level of algae to rise in the water ever so slightly. When Coral figured out the strategy, IT WAS FAR TOO LATE TO STOP THE SPONGE. Eutrophication was already tightening its grip around the spiny, rocky coral's metaphorical throat. Coral does not have a throat but coral is, oddly, insanely sensitive to nutrient levels in its substrate. 

Winner: Sponge.